Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Field Notes Processed

Following my new system, I caught up on all my field notes from this year.  Yay! Even better, one of my appointments was moved earlier in the day, so I had most of the afternoon free.

And yet, the stress ball continues to thrive in my stomach, despite my attempt to satisfy it with a Snickers bar, and then with amaretto hot chocolate.  Things are going well, there are no catastrophes.  So why am I so worried?

My guess is that it's because I have a lot personally invested in this project, in addition to it being my dissertation (and thus my job ticket).  It focuses on a issue that is the entire reason I went to grad school, and one that I would like to spend my life improving.  Thus, I care deeply on many levels about making it the best it can be, and am constantly focusing on what could be better, rather than what I'm doing.

So, to be more positive, I need to realize that because I am deeply invested in this area, I will be working in it in the future.  I will do many more projects in this area, so if my dissertation needs improvement, it's okay.  I am learning a lot, not only about my topic, but also about how to do research in it, and I can apply all of this to future projects.  In fact, even if I don't get a job when I graduate, there are still ways to work in this area outside/ish of academia.

I know all of this, so why is it so hard to convince myself of it?

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